There’s no denying that the American tradition of a high school prom has become quite a big thing across uk schools. For our middle daughter, the end of her secondary school life was synonymous with getting excited for prom season and the end of an era as her time at high school came to an end after those dreaded exams. Our eldest daughter hadn’t attended her prom night due to competing in Finland the next day.
So what did I learn about prom as a mother? Well, that there are some things you just don’t need to do or buy. It is possible to save money when planning to attend prom:
Shop bought dress
Now at this point I’m going to be honest and say that we let Violet go all out for her prom dress. We definitely didn’t try to minimise the cost or try to persuade her to try an off the shelf dress. Vi’s search through the prom dresses was an absolutely joy – She has truly dreamt of that day since she knew what a prom was and thoroughly enjoyed every moment of finding her perfect dress. She knew that her birthday presents may be reduced due to the cost of the dress and that she was incredibly lucky to be able to choose the dress she loved.
But had she not really had her heart set on that particular dress, I know now that mainstream shop-bought dresses at affordable prices are absolutely exquisite and look so special on the night too. At the moment, daughter #3 is saying that she will be wearing a footie kit for her leavers’ ball but if she decides on a dress, we will definitely be exploring the likes of John Lewis, Next, House of Fraser as potential options. I would say if you are in plenty of time, internet shopping is your way forward especially as so many places offer free shipping. For some, trying on their prom outfit in the comfort of their own home will make so much different to their decision.
From looking around all the outfits, it was impossible to tell who had paid more for their dresses, whether ball gowns or a short prom dress – Often simple is stunning. Just get what suits your child and your budget!
Second Hand Dresses
During spring you will see social media posts popping up everywhere advertising expensive dresses for really cheap prices. Some of these dresses will have only been worn for a maximum 4 hours if at all. Many proms did not happen at all during 2020 and 2021 with some people only just feeling able to say goodbye to their beautiful dress now. If we had not found the dress that we did, I was totally going to encourage Vi to explore party dresses from private sales. We have not decided what to do with Violet’s dress yet (and believe me, it takes up quite a lot of room in our spare room!) – You never know we might be offering it for sale next year. I’m not sure it will ever be Tara’s colour as a massive Everton supporter!
High heels are not necessary
For many a young girl, their idea of the perfect outfit includes the wearing of high heels. Until they put them on and try to walk or attend a formal dance in them! Violet wore her crocs (god help me!) right up until the moments she stepped foot out of the car. But do you know what? Nobody would have known if she had worn them for the whole night!
Also, it really is not necessary for those shoes to be hugely expensive. I know of girls who spent hundreds on their shoes and if I’m honest, they looked no different to the bargain shoes most had from New Look and similar places. Those expensive shoes still resulted in hobbling around at the end of the night with blisters and got covered in mud from the obligatory photo shoot on the grass with your friendship group. The same goes for handbags too – They will probably be launched under the table the moment they go into the room or hall, so don’t be paying a fortune!
Make up yourself
I let Violet talk me into having lashes and makeup done by a professional – They did a great job. However, nothing that she couldn’t do herself. By the time they reach Year 11s, most of these young people are experts in their contouring and highlighting – far better than I will ever be! You also run the risk that the MUA might use completely different colour foundations than they are used to.
Be yourself
You hear so much about long prom gowns and looking incredible, but the truth is there really is no dress code. Some venues do state smart casual wear but that is about it. With the cost of living rising, many schools are moving away from formal venues and holding their prom in their school hall, which is a great idea and allows the special occasion to happen at a fraction of the price.
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Transport
Organising your own transport to prom can save a fortune. Definitely no sports cars needed. There were invites to join in with a limo but luckily arrangements had already been made to go to prom with a friend in our car which saved almost £100.
By actually travelling with just your best friends, you can build the excitement and arrive when you like. We were super early which gave the girls an even better experience as they could enjoy watching all their friends and the rest of their year arrive.
The girls had even organised their own play list to listen to in the car on the way full of their memories of high school. Warning: This did increase the giddiness somewhat – I cannot promise that travel to prom is a quiet affair. There was plenty of squealing!
After Prom Party
It did seem for a while that the After prom party was more important than the actual prom. There was so much talk about where they were going and who was going with who.
We were lucky that the parents who were nearest would do pick up from the after prom party (which was at 8am the next morning after a night sleeping in a tent in the garden).
No expensive outfit is needed for the after prom party. These are very informal parties when the kids get chance to let their hair down after an evening of being fairly trussed up in their official prom outfits and being observed by their teachers.
No balloon displays
The best bit about the prom date is that it tends to happen during the warm summer months. As a result, we could organise a family send off for everyone to have a look at ‘the dream dress’ and give our teenage girl chance to feel like prom queen (Thank goodness they don’t actually tend to have those at most British schools’ high-school prom). We didn’t go overboard with decorations at the family party – it just didn’t need huge balloon displays and a formal cake.
Schools often help with the cost
This is so lovely. Most schools do have a hardship fund to help families in need with the cost of buying prom products to give everyone the chance to attend on the big night. This is done very discreetly I believe.
I have heard that some kind families also donate both suits and dresses to schools for them to use when people are really in need. This is really kind.
Enjoy it!
I didn’t think I would enjoy Vi’s prom night as much as I did. We ended up getting really excited due to how giddy she was on the day. The run up was lovely and it was great knowing we hadn’t bankrupt ourselves with all the extras that weren’t necessary. After Vi had left for prom we came back and continued the party at home without her!
Helen is a family and lifestyle blogger, writing about her experiences of bringing up 3 girls. For more information about the Costello Family and the services they can offer visit the Work With Us page
