I’m irritated. In fact, I’m kicking myself. Let me tell you a story about buying a washing machine (Stay with me, it gets slightly more interesting!)
So we need a new washing machine. Ours has progressively got worryingly loud over the past few months. You know, the sort of loud that you have to arrange phone calls around your wash cycle because you simply can’t hear to talk. The sort of loud that the people on the other end of the phone, ask if we live near an airfield. I always swore that if my washer started getting loud after the last incident, I’d replace it straightaway. *Cough* 6 months is straightaway isn’t it?
This morning we trotted off to the washing machine shop (I’ll not name names, but it might rhyme with ‘Murrays’)
Mr C: (approaching less than enthusiastic shop assistant) Hell, we would like to buy a washing machine.
Shop Assistant (SA: Well, yeah (only narrowly missing a DUH!) Turns to me – because obviously only women are interested in washing.
Me: I’d like one with a fairly short wash cycle please – Our current one takes 1 hour 42 minutes.
SA: That’s really quick (Erm, no its not, my last one was an hour tops)
Me: Ok, lets have a look what you have.
SA: There’s these for £449
Me: I wasn’t quite thinking of spending that much but thanks.
SA: Oh yeah, there’s one for £330.
Me: How long is the wash?
SA: (Huge sigh, takes manual out of machine) 3 hours.
Me: 3 HOURS?!?!
(Time passes, we potter around looking at other washers and eventually go back to £330 with 5 years warranty)
SA: You can leave it going before you leave for work in a morning
ME: Mmm (Works from home)
SA: You can program it to come on from work with the app (Looks awaiting me to be impressed)
ME: Erm, I don’t really need that – I just want it to wash my clothes when I’m in.
SA: You need to embrace technology.
(NO, I BLOODY DON’T WHICH IS WHY I’W NOW WRITING ABOUT YOU ON MY SODDING BLOG AND TOMORROW I WILL BE TWEETING & SHARING ACROSS EVERY SOCIAL MEDIA SITE KNOWN TO MAN (AND WOMAN))
ME: Do you do free delivery?
Me: When would it be delivered please?
SA: Next Wednesday between 7am-7pm
ME: I have to wait in all day? I need to collect the children at least.
SA: Yeah, if you are not there in the driver’s 7 minute window he will go.
And do you know what the really irritating thing is? Even with the sarcastic treatment, the fact that the product takes 3 times longer to wash than I wanted, the fact that I will have to rearrange a whole day … WE STILL BOUGHT THE FLIPPING WASHING MACHINE!!
I thought I was supposed to be assertive? Why am I so useless at shopping?